Timesplitters 2 (PS2) Review

If you know me well enough, you know that I don't play 'pop' games. I mean games like Gears of War, Call of Duty and Assassin's Creed. I just cannot get into them. GOW is boring and dull, COD is boring and dull, and Assassin's Creed is... something. Okay, I didn't acually play any of the ACs, but what i've seen of the games they actually look fairly unique and fun.
The point I'm trying to get at is that I like playing cirtain games, e.g. Dynasty Warriors, Gradius, Oblivion and most of all, Timesplitters. why? because It's a very old-school FPS, very arcade-like and because it's bat-shit insane! Now, I am going to elaborate, but first:

Timesplitters was released on the PS2 in the year 2000, being very close to the release of the Playstation 2 it's self. Needles to say, despite what it was back then, It just doesent hold up today. the graphics are simplistic, the gameplay is beyond simple and the difficulty can fluctuate from piss-easy to damn-near impossible.
So the first game was not very good, but things got better by the sequal... MUCH better. In 2002, much to the joy of the fans, Timeplitters 2 was released and oh... was it glorious.

TS2 was in many ways similar to TS1 but in so many other ways completely different to it. It both stayed faithful to the original 'classic' and changed enough to feel fresh but not alienate the rooted fans of the first installment. So in short, It blends both arcade and story to the perfect balance of tooty-shooty fun and interesting story-telling.

<SIGH> I actually tell a lie. That's what the story-telling could have been like. before we get to the pulsing vein that is TS2's biggest problem lets look at the game's pros.
The graphics, for 2002 are gorgeous. Even on the PS2's nasty habit of texture blur, the game never ceases to be interesting to look at. The craracter models are also very well done and although the characters are not capible of pulling facial expressions (exept in game cut-scenes) there are 126 playable characters to play, all of them unique, ranging from millitary personel to zombies, Duckmen to circus freaks and aliens to monkies.

The music is complete genius, having some great tracks varing in style and mood, from the chilled jazz tracks of Chicargo downtown to the peppy energetic melody of planet X. If you havent guessed yet, the game involves time-travel, having you to go to many different settings and places, all of them distinct from each other. This is one of the things what makes the games so enjoyable to play. the vast selection of weapons to fit each time period (which you can then mix'n'match in MP) makes it so that every stage has somthing different to offer. this is one of the problems with it's predessesor, Timesplitters: future perfect, where the weapons are too generic and the settings don't jump around nearly as much, wich makes the game seem more monotonous.

Like I said, TS2 still has a firm grasp on the retro gameplay mechanics of the first game: run around and shoot stuff, but also changes it up with objectives, which are different on each stage. sure It's not such a bug deal now, but back then, especially considering what the first game's 'objective' was (i.e. fina an item in the level and then find and stand in the "goal"), it gave a much fuller experience, something the first game lacked.

Now... time to talk about the story. The basic plot goes like this: in the year 2401, the human race is hanging on a thread because of a alien species known as the Timesplitters. At the start of the story mode, the Timesplitters have captured a spacestation which has the cool ability to time-travel. how is time-travel possible? by the use of the time crystals, of course! so when sargent Cortez and corporal Heart are sent to find and retrieve the crystals, the Timesplitters escape, taking the crystals with them to different times and places. So ol' Cortez has to find all 8 of them which are scattered throughout time.

Now when Cortez passes to a different time, his appearance or 'character' changes acordingly. This is the part of the story wich I don't get. Why does he change into different people? Shouldn't he stay just as he is? because the Timesplitters don't change into anything. They stay as freaking Timesplitters. It does give a different story to each scenario, however. You get to see each character's motivation during the cutscenes. I still feel that it's unnecessary to do this. It could have been Cortez travelling through time, retreiving Time Crystals and Slaying Timesplitters, but instead it's, for example, Hank Nova, the space pilot retreiving Time Crystals and Slaying Timesplitters. It doesen't add up to the characters motivations either, whatever they may have been. The only characters who actually want the crystals are Harry Tipper and Captain Ash, which were original TS craracters to begin with, So I guess they know the score.

But y'see, when the characters find the crystal and complete all primary objectives a portal appears leading back to the space station and to complete the level you have to go through... So the characters whose motivations are clearly set in stone come across a ominous time portal and without hesitation jump in? You may be thinking 'because it's Cortez!', but why then does he care about the character's pre-determened motivations?! why doesen't he just find the crystals instead of-

Y'know what, forget it. If you're wanting a compeling story-arc you're playing TS2 for the wrong reason. You play TS2 for fun. Y'know, fun? the age-old concept that was the purpose of video gaming ever since it started? I am a man of simple tastes and personally, I don't look for compelling stories in games. I don't EXPECT compelling stories in games. Thats what a book or film is for. A game is a chance to let loose of your current worries and dive into a big warm pool of F.U.N. And that's what exactly TS2 is.

Rating: 9/10
Go check it out. It's a real doozy!  

What really happened to Gaston at the end of Beauty & the Beast

Beauty & The Beast is and always will be one of my most favored animated movies of all time. It's up there with The Lion King and Howl's Moving Castle. It has a unmatchable charm to it, with rememberable characters and a timeless story.

Now back to the characters: you guys remember Gaston? Of course you do! he is the most awesome thing in the entire movie. He makes B&TB, a already great movie even better.

I'm not really sure why he fascinates me so much. maybe it's his mind-set, the fact he thinks he's so awesome that he thinks he can get anything he wants, including the heart of Belle. Obviously he doesn't in the end, but DAMN does he try. He goes to all lengths: first proposing like any normal person, but then goes completely insane and decides to lock her dad up, refusing to release him until Belle says 'yes'. Even when she says no, Gaston being the egotistical bastard that he is, decides to sporadically slay the beast just seconds after finding out about him!

When he gathers up the villagers to kill the beast (and singing while doing so), Gaston finds him him-self and thus begins the final battle Gaston vs The Beast. Naturally, the beast wins because he's a protagonist and Disney protagonists aren't allowed to die for more than a minute.
Anyway, Gaston dies like 70% of all villains ever do: Falls off a great height to his 'death'. I, myself was disappointed at this. I can't accept the fact that one of the greatest- no, THE greatest Disney villain of all time falls to his death. Gaston's too good for that. So y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna prove to you that Gaston did in-fact not die at the end of B&TB and not only did he not die, but he is also the main cause of world destruction!

Now, I will warn you before you continue: This article is tremendously stupid. If you have better things to do with your time I would suggest doing that thing right now.

Still here? okay then. Here goes... something.

As you know, Gaston falls down from the Beasts castle into a gorge... of water. Now knowing Gaston, he would have probably survived the fall into the water because he's just too awesome for that!... drowning I mean. If you remember earlier in the film, While Gaston is proposing to Belle and fails, being flung into a muddy pool. he survived a full 10 seconds submerged while a pig was also on his head. Only Gaston could withstand such punishment.

Joking aside (really think about that for a second), Gaston is a tank of a man. He probably eats falls like that for breakfast. So now Gaston is in this gorge, now swimming in the river and eventually out to sea. there he swims half around the world to Paradise Falls. Yes. Paradise Falls from the 2010 CG animation 'Up'. So you may be thinking 'how can he go there if it's not the right time period?'. Simple answer: Bermuda Triangle.

As you know, the Bermuda Triangle has mysterious powers (Case in point: That really weird X-Files episode where Mulder ends up on a Nazi boat!), so Gaston while swimming through the Bermuda Triangle gets caught up in a storm and gets mysteriously jumped to present day.

So Gaston arrives at Paradise Falls.  At this point, even Gaston is getting tired, and so sets camp deep in the rain forest jungles. Just as he gets his breath back he spots a zeppelin in the sky, the very same zeppelin that Charlz Muntz falls out of when another old man tricks him into falling off along with his flying house... see the film.

Gaston catches Charlz while he was foraging for honey in one of the trees. Charlz is so thankful of being saved he dicides to leave his old ways of life and join Gaston in his travels. He and Gaston make their way to the coast again and find a unused dingy to use for themselves. they both sail back into the Bermuda Triangle and end up finding a strange island with odd things about it. one of the things is a a debris of a submarine. Charlz, being the slightly insane old genius that he is has the crazy idea to make the wreak anew again, but instead make it into a shape of a shark. Gaston does not testify to this because he trusts Muntz and everything he says and does.

Now with their new mode of transport they find some victims to make use of their weaponry. after all, the shark-sub comes equipped with razor teeth and a grappling hook. with a stroke of luck, they find a giant air-borne peach, with a crew consisting of a child, several insects and an arachnid. They engage in battle. Charlz greatly under-estimates the power of the flying peach and with some bad choices of attack, the shark-sub is taken out by it's own weaponry. Thankfully, they had an escape-sub prepared and managed to escape with their lives.

Eventually they reach land, where Gaston has an epiphany. He has a vision on an apocalyptic future where the world is covered in water from head-to-toe. Charlz, despite what they had been through together does not believe him and deserts him. Gaston in a fit of confusion and anger, builds a platform made of scrap metal. this platform is the start of a giant water-city where thousands will live.

40 years later, the worlds ice caps are struck and the world is completely submerged. Gaston now rules a water-kingdom. His rule doe not last however, as time catches up with him. he dies of old age.

He then wakes up to see Charlz Muntz. He had revived Gaston as a cyborg: half human, half robot. Now programmed to serve Charlz, Charlz gives him a time device and tells him to go back to a specific date (of which is uncertain) where Gaston must become himself and fall in love with Belle, which will inevitably lead to the exact events which happen in the film Beauty & The Beast, which will lead to Gaston's apparent death where he will swim through the Bermuda Triangle to Paradise Falls where he will inevitably save Charlz Muntz.

So let's recap:
Gaston is and always has been a cyborg due to a loop-hole in time where Charlz Muntz is saved by Gaston, where they build a shark-sub and fight the giant peach where they fail and start a water civilisation where Charlz finds Gaston again to repair him in which the cycle is repeated indefinitely.

You got that?
Good.

Readme for Demo Picks 1.0

Forgot to add this in the RAR.

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--------------------Demo Picks Version 1.0---------------------
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Track 1 - BluMixes, Comic Bakery
This track is a simple remix of a famous commodore 64 loader
une, Comic Bakery. It's reminicent of my very old tracks,
because of the strong drum beat and the tendacy of
repeating things, But thats because of the original tune was
like this, but even more repetitive!
My Rating - 3.5/5 ()()()(

Track 2 - Lone Wolf, Power Plant
A part of a game project that never lifted from the ground.
Lone Wolf was in a style of an old-school 2D action platformer,
reminisant of games like Bionic Commando and Rush'n'Attack.
If you havent guessed yet, The music is very primitive. It was
to emulate a soundtrack of a mid 80's arcade cabinet. It tested
my ability to use channels sparingly and be resourceful in what
sounds I use. This is the 'Redone' Version of the track, which
sounds a bit like an MSX game.
My Rating - 3/5 ()()()

Track 3 - Piano, Minecraft Movie
My "Inspiring" Piano melodies. Most people insist this is where
my talent lies and that this is the best track I have EVER done! Consider yourself lucky, I guess. You may be asking yourself why is it called 'Minecraft Movie'? because 1. I suck at naming songs and 2. it was what I thought of when I listened to it.
My Rating - 4.5/5 ()()()()(

Track 4 - Lone Wolf II, Arctic Stronghold
Another unmade game, But this one probably will NEVER be made.
Lone Wolf II would have been alot like Contra but with more of
a focus on weapon upgrades. As for track, It's not as simple as
Lone Wolf I, as this time I used DRUMS! acually I used the
Konami Drum-set used in alot of their arcade games. I also used
a string sample which sounds a bit dodgy now that I look back at
it. P.S. Pardon me for that long silence at the end of the
track. It was me being derpy with FL :-/
My Rating - 3.5 ()()()(

Track 5 - Gradius: Red Shift, Take to the Airs
this is for yet ANOTHER game I will probably never make. This
time it's a shoot'em-up with a focus on story and characters.
It was to have anime style cutscenes and the game would let
you choose from 6 piolits. Depending on which piolits you
choose at cirtain times will affect the relationships of the
characters in the game and will result in different cutsenes
Of course it's a very farfetched and ambitious project, but
I have spent ages making notes and stuff in my books for a
while now, Mostly at school when i'm supposed to being doing
work... Oh, yeah! the track. It's intended for a small inte-
rlude between sections of the game called 'Dogfights'.
My Rating - 4/5 ()()()()

Track 6 - 'What if' C64 games, Red Dead Redemption
Ever thought what the western GTA style rockstar game would
look like if I was on a Commodore 64?...no?...Well I did!
and thats how I came up with an idea to makes tracks of
games of today and turn them into games of yester-year.
I know I doesent sound like anything in the original game,
But C64 ports rarly had accurate soundtracks of the
original product.
My Rating - 3.5/5 ()()()(

Track 7 - Gradius: Red Shift, Forgotten Trip
Another track from G:RS. This one is more laid back than
Take to the Airs. This is for a cirtain stage where you
shoot up Moai Statues in space... Yeah, It's a gradius
thing. Alot of the Original Gradius games had stages like
that.
My Rating - 4/5 ()()()()

Track 8 - Lone Wolf II, Citadel Walls
Heh... Yeah see if you reconise THIS track... sound
fimiliar? It's a remix of a song I can't remember the name
of. I put in the restrictions of Lone Wolf II. I thought it
was cool enough to be used in one of the stages.
My Rating - 3.5/5 ()()()(

Track 9 - Piano, To Endure
I used an early version of this track in my GCSE music and I got a B for it. The teacher said It lacked structure. I made way back in 2010 when I was sill getting the grips of FL Studio.
My Rating - 4/5 ()()()()

Track 10 - Lone Wolf, Game Clear
The ending credits music for Lone Wolf I. I added reverb to give it more end-gameyness... whatever that means.
My Rating - 4/5 ()()()()

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Special thanks to my Mum and Dad who gave me alot of encouragement and to Ross who was there to give a s**t about what I do and listen. Thanks Guys!

Top five reasons IGN can suck it

If you are a common reader of the website IGN you have probably read the article about Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim... and how it's apparently going to be steamrolled by another game, Dark Souls.
If you haven't read it yet, check it out here, But I bet after reading a couple paragraphs you will see why I titled this article the way I did.

Here's the thing: I don't trust IGN. why? well this might actually might sound a little childish, but IGN is a branch of another site, Gamespot. Actually I think Gamespot is branching off IGN but whatever. Y'see, Gamespot has become somewhat infamous for having a rather... biased opinion, and that some reviews are 'paid off'. Not to say all of their reviews are, but after that fiasco about Kane & Lynch and the sacking of an employee would you trust them?

The key-word for both IGN and Gamespot is 'Biased', which is a writer's worst weakness, and in the above-mentioned article on Skyrim I am getting that bias vibe. well, less biased and more complete blindness on just how ignorent and obnoxious they are really being.

 Problem #1
Bitching about multiplayer

Aparrently, having no multiplayer means that your game sucks. Didn't one guy say once that 'A game should be able to stand on singleplayer alone'? can't remember the name of him though...
Okay, IGN didn't say that having no MP means that your game will blow, but not only did they hint it, but they insult Bethesda for not having MP, saying they '...either didn't deem it important enough, didn't care to make time for it or didn't have the imagination to bring something on this scale to life.' err... Bullshit.

IGN are basically saying the Bethesda are lazy, which is a big fat F'ing lie. What do IGN what from them? They give a HUGE land for you to traverse, have hundreds of quests for you to complete and even throw in completely AI depentant dragons for you to slay. If thats not enough to entertain you for 6 months or so, then I am completely lost to what is. The Elder Scrolls games are and should always be a singleplayer experience. you can't just throw in MP and expect it to work. what did Beth' say? "We always look into multiplayer, put lots of ideas on the whiteboard and it always loses. It's not that we don't like it. I can think of ways it would be a lot of fun. At the end of the day, that dev time is going to take away from doing the best single-player game we can, and that's where our hearts are."That was from the IGN article by the way, so even when IGN are AWARE that MP Skyrim is just not possible and they still talk bull-balls about Beth being lazy slags, I think that explains itself. Assholes.

Problem #2
Pricing and DLC

Here they critisize the fact that Beth' chose a different marketing scheme to Namco. Bethesda made it so that the retail prize for the standard game is $59.99 (thats £38.50 to us Brits) and that the special edition will cost a whopping $149.99 (£96.25 in quids). Yeah, A bit steep, but what does it come with? A small statue, artbook, map, and a 'making-of' DVD. So it does balance out.

Namco dicide, however to make it that there will only be one version of the game, selling for £38.50, but the people who pre-order or buy the game just as it hits the shelves you will get a limited collecter's tin, which comes with, and I quote "...a limited edition hardcover artbook, plus a digital download token for the digital soundtrack of the game, digital mini-strategy guide, and digital behind the scenes making of videos."
C'mon. What would YOU rather have: a statue, map and artbook, or an artbook and a couple of new documents on your computer that you could just find on the net for free? not to mention, DS's limited edition is, well... limited. while it is cheaper, It's gonna get real hard to find the limited copies after the release. Skyrim's special, however will be sticking around for a while.

So to summarize, Skyrim's special edition is awesome but expensive, while DS's special sucks dick but is more cost efficient. You know what I say? Quality over quantity. Strangly enough though, the Skyrim special has more and reeks with quality. so again, Skyrim wins.

Now DLC, Skyrim has comfirmed DLC, ranging from '$10-15 apiece, plus weapons and armor for a few bucks more.' Nothing wrong with that, now is there? DS has no confirmed DLC, But IGN sees that as a good thing. They say that 'Skyrim fans can expect to wait months or more for the 'final' feature complete version, aka the 'Ultimate Edition' that will cost less than buying the game at launch and all the DLC/expanded content put together.' DLC may cost, but the whole point of DLC is that Beth' can make expansion packs and/or new stuff whenever, while DS has only the initial content. The content may be very expansive, but they won't be able to sell so much if they're not gonna release expansion DLC. They'll probably save that for a full retail prise game or maybe they won't bother at all.
Again, maybe the vanilla game will be enough, but then again, Skyrim in vanilla will be enough as well.

Problem #3
Epic Scope

Skyrim wins immediately!
well, okay. let's give DS a chance, because I am aware that DS is the under-dog in this de-bate. IGN say 'You could not explore all of Tamriel in Oblivion; Skyrim takes place in another division of land within Tamriel.'

Well, Tamriel is a gargantuan world. If they somehow managed to fit Tamriel into one game It would probably become thin. sort of stretched, like butter spread over too much bread. having said that though, It would be awesome to explore the entire world of the Elder Scrolls, but technolegy hasn't become advanced enough. maybe on the the next Xbox console, maybe. Besides, the game is called SKYRIM! so it's gonna be set in skyrim, is it not?

Now Dark Souls has 'a massive and deadly labyrinth of secrets, traps, enemies, and godlike bosses, many of which are unique and all placed within the world with the careful calculation of a development team.' and '(is) like Metroid and Castlevania, where multiple paths and directions are possible, and shortcuts open up upon completion.'
Hmm... an open-ended world with amazing sprawling landscape, or an semi-linear dungeon with amazing sprawling...Bosses? yeah. self-explanetory, I think.
But wait! quote from IGN, saying that 'Skyrim will likely heap on TONS of fetchy and to-and-fro quests (if we learned anything from Oblivion)'.
Okay... Oblivion did NOT have 'TONS of fetchy and to-and-fro quests'. It had quite a few, but not neccesarily TONS, and what are IGN to assume that Skyrim will have the same? WAIT UNTILL THE GAME COME OUT!
Assholes... Again.

Problem #4
TIGHT Combat and TRUE Challenge

IGN say that 'Oblivion received ample criticism for loose combat mechanics that lacked a visceral feel...Bethesda has seemingly made many improvements to the play control and combat. Will it be enough? Skyrim combat does feel improved but very similar to Oblivion.'
Oblivion's combat was flawed, I give them that, But that's the style of combat they chose to do. It's been the same for all the Elder Scrolls: Arena, Daggerfall and Morrowind all had the similar hack-and-slash system, the only exeption being the spin-off game, Redguard.

And what does it matter if it's similar to Oblivion? besides, this time you can duel-weld and mix'n'match with spells and shit. IGN also say that 'the game structure of Bethesda's RPGs typically handhold players, clearly outlining what to do next in objective windows and mission paths. Boxes are checked and unchecked on what to accomplish, etc.'

Ahem. And what exactly is wrong with that? If you didn't have Boxes and mission paths you would be screwed wandering the landscape having no f'ing clue where to go.

When it really come's down to, DS and Skyrim are very different games. One is a hardcore dungeon-crawler, and the other is a more stream-lined, chilled back 'Adventure' game. Skyrim is as much of an RPG as Oblivion was. The only RPG part was leveling up, and pretty shallow it was.
So when you try to compare combat systems and 'TRUE' challenge with two COMPLETELY different games, you are gonna get some flack from each other.

Let's talk about DS's way of making 'TRUE' challenge.'You cannot pause the game, and players exploring with their shield down are destined for certain doom.' no, thats just annoying.You can't pause the game? who the flying jizz-monkey came up with that idea? Okay, whatever. I'm not gonna say that Skyrim wins this round, because the games are in fact complete polar opposites.

Problem #5
Dragons!

As we all very'well know, Skyrim has dragons. Lots of them. In fact, they are a part of one of the game's core mechanics, Shouts. Because you are a Dragonborn you can learn the dragon language and use them as special abilites. And yes you did read 'Dragon Language'. Skyrim has dragons that can talk!


Now to be fair, DS has dragons too and apparently, they are way cooler. 'UNDEAD DRAGONS!?!' IGN spowts in ectasy. DS dragons may be cooler, the IGN failed to mention that Skyrim's dragons are smarter. They are completely AI dependant, with no scriping involed.
And besides, how can Skyrim's dragons be 'UNDEAD' when '(the) dragon design is relatively medieval in inspiration, as seen in films like Dragonheart and Reign of Fire.'? Have you ever seen 'UNDEAD DRAGONS!?!' in medieval folk-lore, or in fact, Dragonheart or Reign of Fire? NO! because they are going for the traditional look, and sorry, 'UNDEAD' and crystal dragons don't sound fucking traditional!

I hope I have made my point as clear as an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. There is NO comparison to be made between Skyrim and Dark Souls. I'm not saying that DS is bad. Infact it look pretty badass. but when you put it up against Skyrim, It just sounds like blasphemy.

When Skyrim comes out, It's gonna make my blade freeze and stick*, and as for Dark Souls... Probably not. I wouldent need another game untill the next TES comes out.

Finally, I've got one more thing to say: Fuck you IGN, You cheap, false, big, fat, hairy, sweaty, monky bollocks! I'm not gonna buy DS if you say so. I'm not gonna trust you on anything you ever say, because your 'comparison' just reeks of cop-out. you fail as critics, and in sense fail at your job and ultimatly, you fail at life.
Okay... nerd rage over. I'm gonna go send a sample of my shit through IGN's mailbox.


*Epic Gladiator joke!

My YouTube Channel

http://www.youtube.com/user/BlueWorrior
This is where my videos will be uploaded primarily, But I will embed most of the vids on here too.

Demo Picks - Download Now!

RAR File:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/aktp94kn6i84muz/BlueWorrior%20-%20Demo%20Pick%20%28RAR%29.rar
ZIP File:
http://www.mediafire.com/file/owj47aj71v71k37/BlueWorrior%20-%20Demo%20Picks%20%28ZIP%29.zip

Contains 10 of my tracks varying in style. I hope you find this compilation interesting.
Comments on the tracks: Leave on this post please.

Blogs are scary...

Hello.
I am a music composer. It's what I like to do and pretty much the only thing im good at. Im also a big fan of retro games, Piticularly in the Gradius series. So naturaly I make tracks inspired heavily by Gradius.

I've made remixes, rearrangements, piano medleys and video game OSTs. I actually started out making shitty Castlevania Remixes. They were terrible and are now lost in time (probably for the best) but i've evolved and now i'm reaching to the far ends of the musical spectrum and experimenting.

I hope you will enjoy my tracks that I will post on YouTube in the future.